The Making of Being Worthy

These days, I have a song going through my mind.

It’s Tom Petty’s “The Waiting.”

The lyric “The waiting is the hardest part…” is on a circular loop in my brain. Feels like a high school senior waiting for a reply from colleges.

Here’s why.

Back in August, I submitted my book proposal to New Harbinger Publications. In the book business, it takes many months for an acquiring editor to read and deem if it’s worthy to pass on to the marketing and legal teams to determine if they want to go forward with a project.

Right now, I’m assuming that they’re doing their due diligence and I will hear from them either way at some point.

But “The waiting is the hardest part.”

I was thinking that telling the story of how Being Worthy came to be might interest to you. If you like Woo-Woo stuff, please read on.

This book started with the horribly tragedy of losing the lovely and engaging Amanda who suffered PTSD and chronic depression after over 9 years of therapy. She was doing the best at the time of her suicide and it happened without warning. But she would often say that it wasn’t a matter of if but a matter of when and at a time of her choosing when nobody would expect.

A series of strange things that compelled me to write started to happen. Anybody who knows me would tell you that I’m no one who dabbles in the mysterious.

Nevertheless….

Woo-Woo Thing #1: About 6 months after Amanda’s death, I received a catalog inviting me to attend a conference in Galway, Ireland. The presenter was Robert Brooks and it was entitled “Resilience through The Life Span.” I was not bouncing back from Amanda’s suicide, so I decided to go the workshop and see Ireland.

Woo-Woo Thing #2: On a bus tour to the Cliffs of Moher, Tommy the bus driver pulled the bus over. He said” You see that little stone and wood structure folks? That is a Leprechaun’s church. If you ask them a question, you’ll get your answer in about 24 hours. And remember folks, leprechauns’ never lie.”

I asked the leprechauns in my mind “Why did Amanda kill herself?”

Woo-Woo Thing #3: At 3:00am, I awoke with a start from a dream that was so intense, I woke up Jayne. Got my answer. “I’M NOT WORTHY!” I got up and started to write furiously what would turn out to be much of Chapter 1 of Being Worthy.

Woo-Woo Thing #4: I approached Robert Brooks at the conference and told him that the problem with looking at hope and resilience on its own is that without a sense of worthiness as a personal cornerstone, people like Amanda would never embrace it. He thought that was thought-provoking.

“I think you should explore that concept and write a book.”

So, I did.

Bob has been very supportive of my project ever since.

Woo-Woo Thing #5: A brief time later, I received a catalog from The Omega Institute near Rhinebeck, NY. It’s a lovely New Age place to disconnect from the world and to get in touch with yourself, nature, and the universe. It’s all great but I didn’t see myself going. So, I tossed the catalog in the recycling bin.

I missed. The catalog opened like an upside-down V to a page describing a specific 5-day workshop.

“Write the Book You Were Born to Write” with Kelly Notaras of knliterary arts.

I was getting a noticeably clear message.

I signed up and took a week off from work.

Woo-Woo Thing #6: Kelly passes out pads of Post-It Notes as an exercise for us. She then says. Write the title of each of the chapters of your book. You have 20 minutes. Don’t overthink it. Just do it.”

I take the fuchsia-colored squares and complete the exercise in 12 minutes. There were 11 original chapter titles. I used 10 in Being Worthy.

Woo-Woo Thing#7: We broke into small groups to discuss the ideas that would be incorporated into our books. In my group were two shaman women healers. One was from Oregon and the other from California. When I told the story of Amanda, the leprechauns and Bob Brooks’ encouragement, the one from Oregon said:

“I see her sitting by your feet. She wants you to write the book. She wants you know that it will be amazingly easy for you to write it and it will do very well. I also see something that looks like a bell of some kind. Maybe it’s like a Liberty Bell but it doesn’t have a crack.”

The one from Oregon then said:

“Yeah, I see the bell too. She wants you know that the book will free and liberate the two of you. It may start some sort of movement too.”

Kelly then asked us to write the chapter outline of the book.

It took me all of 40 minutes.

After the workshop, I contracted with Kelly’s firm knliterary arts to help me develop what I started at the Omega Institute. I worked with a terrific editor Jennifer Kubiak who was as much book coach as cheerleader.

Ten months later, the entire draft of Being Worthy was complete. All 47,775 words. I have been passing the manuscript out to over 100 interested people and to those in my practice. I have been getting very positive reviews some of which you can see on the website.

When you write a book, you also have to have social media presence. I had no idea how to do this. I also thought that I should market Being Worthy to show a prospective publisher that I have financial skin in the game. Matt Berry and Meaghan Reid of Conversion Agile Marketing have developed this website as well as developing Being Worthy as a positive, enlightened concept for our times. They also designed an awesome book cover that I hope New Harbinger or other publisher would give serious consideration.

I’m observing all the interesting and mind-boggling confluences that have happened over the past three years. Being Worthy was my pandemic project and has certainly help my bereavement while making Amanda’s wish to heal the world possible. It has had a major impact on the lives of many readers so far.

In the meantime, I will continue to write these weekly blogs and hope that you find something worthy to think about.

As for me right now, the waiting is the hardest part!